I’m just going to say it. Children come with so much crap. When Ellie was teeny, it was all about the gadgets. We were in survival mode, so as long as she would sleep in it, we didn’t care how much space it took up. As Ellie became mobile, our living room quickly turned into a silo. We bought one of those octagon gates that contains your child, but also takes up more space in your home than your dinner table. We got padded flooring and filled “the cage” with more stuff she never actually played with. She spent more time trying to scale the walls and escape than actually playing with anything. As she grew, the stuff just continued to collect….and so we did what any sensible parents would do. We went to Ikea and we bought storage shelves and bins and we began to turn a room into a playroom. “This will be great,” we thought. “Now her stuff will be contained and will no longer live in every space in our home.” HA. But the playroom isn’t on the main level of our house, and so the “things” began to creep into our other spaces. We filled a drawer in the kitchen so she’d have something to play with while I cook dinner. Then we bought a basket for the living room of “just a few essentials.” Before we knew it, we had a plastic picnic table in the middle of our living room, bath toys that appear in our bed, and three missing library books that could literally be anywhere.
Does this sound familiar? If so, do you also spend at least 30 minutes of your hard earned adult time every night sorting puzzle pieces, stacking blocks, and organizing all of the “things” in the beautiful bins you were sure that you needed? Do you stuff things into drawers and baskets just to get them out of sight promising you’ll organize them later? How much of it do your kids actually play with? Do you ever feel like you’re literally drowning in “things?”
If this sounds like your life, then you bought the same lie that we did – that all of these “things” that we fill our homes with somehow add value to ours and our children’s lives and make us better people and better parents. I’m not buying into it anymore.
Today, my two year old and I bounced a ping-pong ball back and forth for twenty minutes. She squealed with delight every time it bounced out of my reach or the dog chased after it. Yesterday, we spent most of the afternoon searching for and collecting rocks in the alley behind our house. I’m not exaggerating when I say that she owns over 200 books, but she insists that we read the same 5 every night before bed. She doesn’t buy the lie, in fact, she reminds us everyday that she doesn’t need all of these “things” to be happy or to have fun.
Have you ever felt like God was literally screaming something at you to get you to pay attention and make a change? In the past year, I have been invited to multiple seminars on minimalism, read so many books, and had so many conversations with others who feel like they are suffocating under the amount of things they own. I can hear God telling me that I’m missing out on so much joy by placing so much value in things rather than investing time in what matters.
And so, we have begun to clean out. Slowly, but surely, we are moving through the spaces in our home and “getting real” about what we need, what brings us joy, and what’s just taking up space. It has started as a literal clean out of physical things we don’t need in our home – towels and blankets from college that sit in our linen closet, whiskey glasses suitable for fancy parties we will never throw, and kitchen gadgets that haven’t moved from their disorganized drawer since the day we moved in. We have also gotten real with the number of toys in Ellie’s spaces. Only her favorites have stayed, the rest either sits in boxes waiting for her to get a little older or has been donated. I’ve gotten real with the clothes in my closet, keeping only the things that I truly love and that make me feel like myself. If it’s not in the current season or I don’t wear it, it’s either in storage or has been donated. I cannot tell you how much easier it is to get ready in the morning now that I like every item in my closet.
Don’t get me wrong. This is not an easy process for me. I’m someone who places emotional value on things and I definitely buy into the “we don’t need it now, but what if we need it in the future” mentality. But you know what I’m finding? Putting it in the box is the most difficult part. Once it’s gone, I don’t miss it. You know what else I don’t miss? Spending time that I should be drinking wine and lying on the couch with my husband picking up toys. I spend the majority of my days taking care of the needs of others, but I’m finding that if I have some time for self-care at the end of the day, I’m a much better version of myself the next day.
The idea of simplifying your home and your life is not revolutionary. It doesn’t have to mean getting rid of everything you own. As a former English teacher, I have books in just about every room and empty space in my home. These books bring me joy. Some I may never read again, others are just waiting for the right time in my life, but I have no intention of getting rid of them. What does not bring me joy is finding sippy cups that I find days later when looking for “that smell” under the couch. Making it so we only own two sippy cups has been a life changer. There’s no reason we need 12. They just take up space, make for extra dishes, and leave me angry when I can’t find the right valves and lids.
It’s a process. We still have a long way to go. But with every “thing” we clean out of our life and our home, we make a little more space for joy.
What are the “things” in your life that weigh you down?
Life After Birth 