A Year Later {a letter to my pre-mama self}

Tomorrow we celebrate one blessed year with our spunky little girl. This is a letter to the 9 month pregnant, soon-to-be mama who thought that little girl was NEVER going to come out. This is a reminder to her, and to all expectant mamas that tomorrow will come with all of its blessings, but try to recognize and soak in the fleeting blessings of life before baby.

Hey Mama,

Nine months ago, you crawled into bed at 4:30 in the morning and told your husband he was going to be a daddy. Filled with wonder and excitement, you laid there together dreaming the secret dreams that only expectant parents know. Since that day, you have marveled as your body stretches, and sustains this tiny life.  But lately the only thing that seems scarier than bringing this blessed child earth side is the idea of being pregnant for one more day. There have been moments lately – when you couldn’t fit your swollen feet into your shoes or had 3 doctors appointments scheduled within 8 days of each other – that you thought that your due date would never arrive. And yet it did. And as it came and passed, you found yourself stuck in this weird waiting space, unsure of what to do next, afraid to make any sudden moves or make any plans more than 6 hours in advance. Those last few days of pregnancy feel like an alternative universe. It feels like you could go into labor at any minute,  and yet there’s a part of you that feels like maybe you’re one of those women who just won’t go into labor…..and all your plans and dreams for a quiet labor at home will be replaced with things like a balloon catheter or a cervix softener – all of which sound about as much fun as a root canal.

Don’t be afraid.

Tomorrow, you’re going to wake up around 1:30 a.m. to a tightening feeling in your belly. When your husband’s alarm goes off at 6 for work, you’ll tell him the same thing you told him 9 months and 3 days ago. You’re going to be a daddy. Labor is nothing like what you think it’s going to be. You’re going to feel empowered in a way that you’ve never imagined. You’ll marvel at what your body is capable of withstanding and how strong you really are. Tomorrow, you’ll finally hold your baby in your arms. Just like that, all you’ve hoped and prayed for will be sleeping against your chest. It’s all going to be okay.

So, let today be today. Enjoy the quiet. Go see a movie with your husband {you won’t see another one in a theater for more than a year}. Eat the whole bucket of popcorn and then get a refill. Resist the urge to get out of bed before 9 a.m. Go have a cup of coffee with a friend. Let the chores and the laundry wait. Snuggle the pups and let them know you love them. Blast the music in the car. Take a bath. Stay in until the skin on your fingers wrinkles and revel the fact that no one interrupted you. Read a book on the porch. Set it down and take a little snooze. I know it’s hard to let the anxiety go, but enjoy today. You’ll be thankful that you did.

Tomorrow, life is going to change in the most incredible way. And I know you can’t wait. But slow down just for a second and enjoy the last day of this important season in your life. Tomorrow will be here before you know it.

Love,
Me

15 Ways to Spot a First Time Mama

There’s lots of ways to spot a first time mama. She’s the one who’s holding onto her kid’s hands in the grocery cart while reaching for the crackers on the top shelf because the seatbelt isn’t enough to keep him safe or who has laid a blanket out in the public sandbox so baby’s pristine dress and shoes don’t get too dirty. Becoming a mama is a rite of passage, but it also comes with a huge learning curve. Even though you recognize the ridiculousness, sometimes you just can’t help yourself. So rather than fret, why not laugh? Here’s 15 signs you’re a first time mama:

1. When you drop the baby off at the church childcare, you hand them a diaper bag, a cooler with snack options, and a handwritten list of emergency contacts, her morning routine, and troubleshooting tactics. No need to put a name tag on her back; her name is embroidered into everything she’s wearing. You stand there for 10 minutes going through all of it with the sweet teenage girl who looks horrified.
2. You had the carseat base professionally installed in your backseat 5 months before his actual due date.When you brought him home from the hospital, you had four different outfit choices {weather can be tricky} and you drove a respectable 16 mph on backroads the entire way home.  You have caddies stocked in every room of the house with diapers, Purell, and a change of clothes. With the exception of visiting the doctor, he did not go into public for a solid 6 weeks.
3. It’s a beautiful spring day, so you and your husband decide to take the baby to the park to swing. You put on his winter hat and stuff a blanket around him so that the wind from swinging doesn’t hurt his ears and so he can’t move around in the swing.
4. You spend 5 minutes disinfecting the grocery cart BEFORE you put the grocery cart cover over the seat and buckle him in. Can’t be too careful.
5. At the 6 month mark, you create a “secret” Pinterest board {so others won’t see the crazy} where you begin pinning ideas for her first birthday party. It can take months to decide on a theme, color scheme, and invitation design.
6. When her first birthday arrives, you want to make sure to include the ever-adorable rite of passage – the cake smash – but the idea of all that sugar horrifies you, so you spend hours baking vegan, organic cake with flax seed and applesauce {no sugar added, of course}. Smash away, baby, smash away.
7. When the pediatrician comes in and asks what brings you in today, you reply, “I’m not sure, he just seemed a little off today. Does  look like he’s getting sick to you?”
8. You’re already thinking about what she’s going to wear to your grandma’s birthday party next month.
9. At a restaurant, you’ve asked the waitress if the fruit salad has grapes in it and if they could please cut them into quarters.
10. You leave three pages of instructions for your babysitter complete with baby’s favorite book and a list of songs you typically sing before bed, an emergency contact list that goes as far as your Great Aunt Jean, and printed pamphlets on how to perform the Heimlich maneuver on small children, just for good measure.
11. You’ve childproofed every door, drawer, cupboard, socket, and hard corner in your home to the point that your husband had to pee in the sink because he couldn’t figure out how to get the toilet seat up.
12. Your once let him cry it out for 4 and a half minutes. Your husband also let you cry it out.
13. You have 17 videos on your phone of her “almost” crawling.
14. On your hour-long drive to visit your mom, you stopped 7 different times to put her pacifier back in, rock her, feed her, and pick up the toy that she chucked.
15. You sometimes curl up on the couch after a long day with a glass of wine and watch the video monitor instead of television after she goes to bed.